SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN

Today I heard a familiar song from my past, Lifehouse's Somewhere in Between.

The song reminded me of the ongoing struggle that often plagues my life, my perspectives, and my attitudes- the ongoing battle between feelings of pride, and dealing with feelings of inadequacy.

It is pride that says, "I can do this."
Pride says, "I'm good at this."
It whispers, "Well, at least I'm further along than that person."
It rationalizes, "See how far I've come...I'm amazing."

How unfortunate that my heart sometimes decides to praise myself, rather than give the credit and the glory to the One from whom all good and perfect gifts come, the One who continues to shape me into the person that He wants me to be. As though I have any merit to stand on. It's grace that we've been saved by- not by works- and therefore, there is no room for boasting.

On the flip side, often I find myself dwelling on my shortcomings rather than putting my confidence in the Lord of the universe.

My inadequacy asks the question, "What are you doing here?"
It challenges, "Do you think people actually want to hear you?"
It taunts, "Who do you think you are to attempt to build into others?"
It jeers, "You'll only fail, you're expecting the impossible."

Pride vs. Inadequacy- the two total ends of the spectrum, the two extremities that I can easily identify, but yet so quickly fall into. Rarely do I find myself somewhere in between.

Jeremiah 17:5-8
This is what the LORD says:
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends its roots out by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

II Corinthians 12:9-10
Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.